My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
