Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
