i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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