Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
