hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
