I love black thongs
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
