nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
