ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
