Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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