Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
