dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
