You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
