Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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