as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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