so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize