new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
