Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have already put on my inside pants.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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