Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
