Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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