Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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