So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
