I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
