come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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