I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
