the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
