they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
