My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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