It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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