I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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