Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
