no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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