you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
