Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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