Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
did you just send me my own nude
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
