I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
