OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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