dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
