I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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