I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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