are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
MIDGETS
????
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
