Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
