new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
