he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
