is your mom at the bar?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize