i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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