its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
