Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm half single.

(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me it's the bottom half.

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(515): View more from Iowa

You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

Deal!

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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(909): View more from California

i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...

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(410): View more from Maryland

YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

Fav 8 1142 1992
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(519): View more from Ontario

I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night

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(770): View more from Georgia

Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star

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