Im at strip club and am horny
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize