I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
