So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
