im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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