The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
