so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
