so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Be still, my beating vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
