idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
another moral hangover. fuck.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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