its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
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