Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
