we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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