I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
