Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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