it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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