i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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