After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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