He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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