It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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