i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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