No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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