how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
